Cloud 86

   Many folks are rethinking their use of cloud computing to store data, after revelations of U.S. government scoopers monitoring and analyzing anything and everything that anyone puts on the Internet. "Big Data" has become the latest corporate bogeyman to frighten users who worry about privacy.
   Europeans, especially, are taking a long look at their use of the Cloud, asking why the U.S. government should be sorting through all their Internet communications.

   Time was, people kept their own records and only those with direct physical access could scan them. Then came computers, and data storage -- especially in massive quantities -- became expensive.
   Then the Cloud rolled in, offering to store all your stuff for you, off site, so you no longer had to worry about using up your capacity and slowing your operations. Moreover, users could access all their stuff from anywhere, and only needed smaller, portable devices.

   But all those eggs in one basket comprised too tempting a target.
   So under the banner of the Patriot Act, fanned by anti-terrorism fears, the government became a super dooper scooper snooper, looking for patterns in the phone calls, emails, chats, photos and everything else people stored in the Cloud, all the while believing it was still their own and no one else could see it.

   Except, of course, the proprietors of the Cloud, who promised they wouldn't allow others to view personal files.
   Unless, of course, there was a court order telling them to let others in.
   And, of course, the court order was secret, from a secret court, mandating that the Cloud owners not tell you or anyone else about the secret order from a secret court.

   Secrecy, of course, is important.
   After all, that's why you stored your stuff in the Cloud, because they promised it would be secret.

   Of course.
   A secret is a secret, right?
   Unless it's a matter of national security. But who gets to decide what's a matter of national security, and needs to be secret?

   The Decider in Chief, of course.
   Who is the Decider in Chief?
   That's a secret.

   Of course.