"Who" is for people, "that" is for things.
Good stories write themselves. The trick for the writer is to open a channel to the heart of the story and let its spirit light up the page. Nonstandard grammar, unless needed to personify the character, distracts the reader from following the path of the story.
Moreover, the reader may not be aware of the nonstandard usage, but on some level it will slow down the telling. Worse, when the reader recognizes a misuse but can't place why, the reader stops to puzzle about it, which slows the story line even more.
Here are some recent examples: A candidate said during one of the debates, "We need a leader that ..." Standard usage specifies "who" for people and "that" for things. Another speaker said, "Like you're saying ..." This distracts listeners/readers because they know even on a subconscious level the word "as" makes for better flow.
Standards change, of course. Words and phrases change. New words are coined daily, and some survive to become widely accepted, while others are rejected.
Nonetheless, there are standards, even though these, too, evolve and change. Standard usage of 1916 may be considered archaic today, and popular words of 1956 may be considered rude today.
Society changes, and language changes with it. Acceptable behavior then may not be acceptable now, and some examples could include women's right to vote and segregated schools. Both issues were not only widely accepted, but enforced by law.
However, times change. Attitudes change. Laws change. What may have been legal and moral a few decades ago is no longer legal nor moral in today's society. And language changes to reflect a society's cultural, legal and moral values.
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